Please Understand

PLEASE UNDERSTAND




The loud drumming of her heart drowned out her ears. She had been standing outside the weapons room for over twenty minutes just wondering what he would think and how to tell him. He'll leave me, she thought, or worse he'll tell me to get rid of it. The girl knew her mind was running away with her. He would never say those things but still she couldn't help but wonder. Jace was about to leave for a route sweep of the sewers. They had be some activity there but still nothing had been showing up.  This could possibly be the worst time to someone this but she had to do it. Even with that being said the door handle seemed to move away from her telling her to leave, this of course was just her mind playing tricks again, and she started to think of when he and asked her to marry him.

The institute was completely empty, even church was nowhere to be found. Jace had asked Clary to meet her in the greenhouse. It was late in the night and the Isabelle and Alec were out getting some demons at the Pandemonium Club like they did every other Friday, Jace usually goes with the, so she guessed Jace wanted to be alone together. Her footsteps echoed through the dim lit halls. The witch light only seemed to lite parts of the hall and not even a lot of it. Clary and Jace had been dating ever since the battle in Alicante and since then it had been two years of yelling, kissing, fighting, and never ending love for each other. They hadn't been able to spend any time together recently because her mother had an out of state art show. It had taken two days down there, three days of showing, and then her mother and Luke deiced they wanted to stay the rest of the month, which added all up to equal way to long of a time not to see each other.

The steps leading into the green house seemed unending. This would be the first time they would see each other in a month. Clary's nerves were sending shivers down her spine, she was way too nervous. It had only been a month but she was certain that this was Jace breaking up with her. Of course he would have met someone during their time apart. The only reason he would want to be alone is because he knew Clary would throw a fit, begging him not to break up with her. At least he cared enough to leave me with some dignity, she thought. Making her way up the creaking stair to the greenhouse she opened the door. At first glance the room looked empty but a movement by the shadows of the window caught her eye. Jace was standing half out of the shadows, half of his hair covered in moon light creating an incomplete halo. The noise of her entering made him turn towards her. A crooked smile pulled at his lips "Finally, I was thinking you were going to blow me off." He laughed but his hands shook a little. Coming over to clary he moved her to a bench, which Jace himself made, his eyes looked nervous and even slightly scared.  

"So, um Clary," he began, "I want to tell you something." Clary could feel the tears well up in her eyes. This is it. We're over, she thought. "Oh well, I guess, I should say ask…Clary," he asked. "What's wrong?" Tears were streaking her face. Normally she wouldn't have cried so easy but it was her time of the month and well she had been stressed about this, the whole month she had been away. Wait. What does he mean ask? She wondered suddenly. Getting off the bench, he came around in front of her. "Clary?" He asked again sounding worried. His hands were holding her arms trying to comfort her. Between gasps of breath and sobs she managed to say. "You're…dumping me?" She felt disgusted with the way she was acting and she tried to break out of his grasp. All she wanted to do was get out of this room and just cry alone. "What? No, no, no. I'm not dumping you at all" He said sounding shocked. Moving a hand away from her arm he pushed back the tear soaked strands of hair from her face.

She stared straight at him now, no longer trying to get away from him. Seeing that Clary had finally begun to calm down he began again. "Clary there's something that I've wanted to ask you. Since, well before you left." His voice had started to shake a bit. "Um, do you remember the first time I showed you this place?" Clary's mouth curved into a slight smile. It had been where they had their first kiss. "It's where we first kissed. I didn't always love it up here as much as I do now but that memory changed my mind. I always think of you when I come up here. In fact I spent almost all of my spare time in here just thinking about you when you were gone." His voice seemed steadier then it had to start with. "While I was in here I was thinking I wanted another important memory in here, something that I hope to never forget. So…" Jace looked down and mumbled something about already being on his knees. He had reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black box. Clary's breath caught in her throat. Opening the box a small ring was place in the center. It had a gold band that separated making two gold bands that started and ended right before the small diamond at the center. It wasn't anything amazing but it was perfect just for Clary. Taking the ring out Jace took a hold of her left hand, a look of fear and joy showed in his eyes. "Will you marry me?"

Sliding off the edge of the bench she kneed next to Jace, slipping the ring on. She giggled a little, a couple of more tears fell from her eyes, and only nodded before hugging him. After a minute he pulled away gazing into her eyes with complete and utter bliss, and then he was kissing her.

The door to the weapons room had opened and broke her out of her daze. Jace was standing in front of her in full shadowhunter gear and fresh marks.  He was about to leave. "Clary?" He gazed at her. Okay. Okay. I can do this, she thought to herself. "Jace can we talk real fast before you go. In private."  Alec was in the back of the room still adding some weapons to his belt. Glancing up he notice Clary and gave a little sigh before exiting the room. There weren't any seats in the room but she felt light headed so she walked in and took a seat on the floor. Sensing the need to be alone Jace closed the door and went to sit beside her. "So…um…" Clary voice wavered.

"Get out with it woman!" Jace said throwing his arms in the air.

Clary frowned. Jace obviously couldn't tell the importance of this talk. "So. Do you remember that time when you didn't have a condom and you said it was fine because I was on the pill?" The joking look in Jace's eyes seemed to fade. He gave her a nod of understanding. His large hand reached out to her rubbing her cheek to comfort her. She pushed back a piece of her curly red hair; it was a nervous habit of hers. Her hand fell away from her hair shaking. Just wanting it get it over with she whispered. "I'm pregnant."  She could feel his thumb stop rubbing her face. She hand been looking at her hands but she looked up to see his face. Fear rang through her.  Jace's eyes were wide and a hand covered his obviously gaping mouth.  

He stayed like that for at least five minutes. Unable to bear it she had begun to stand. That seemed to break him out of whatever trance he seemed to be in.  Stumbling to his feet he pulled her in a tight hug and whispered in her ear. "I love you so much." Seeing him stumble was so weird. She pulled away slightly and looked at him. His golden eyes didn't seem as shocked as before.  
"So, how do you feel?" She asked.

Waiting a few seconds he said "Like the luckiest guy ever." A sweet smile covered his face. Embracing again he kissed her neck. He could feel her shiver and he thought to himself, I'm scared as hell, but I can do my best to be nothing like Valentine.